Lazy Day
by Lif61
Summary: Not every day in the Cage consisted of torture. Sometimes Lucifer got tired of it. One of those days comes around again, and Sam finds himself having a rather interesting conversation with the Devil.


Some days in the Cage were different from others, and though they were still terrible Sam appreciated the reprieve. At first he'd been absolutely terrified on the days Lucifer decided to not torture or violate him. He'd always been on edge, just waiting for Lucifer to strike him. But now, Sam had grown used to the occasional breaks. Lucifer seemed to get bored of the torture and sometimes just wanted what he liked to call a "lazy day". These so-called lazy days tended to consist of Sam lying in their shared bunk in the Cage with Lucifer's arms wrapped around him; a situation that was less than ideal, and Lucifer was actually pretty talkative.

Those days were hard for Sam. He never knew what to do, how to react, or what to feel. There was fear, always fear, but it drifted to the back of his mind, leaving him open to other emotions. Shame was a big player on those days. He just didn't have it in him to fight all the time, so he gave in to Lucifer touching him, and even talked with him. And he hated himself for it because he hated Lucifer.

After weeks without any sign of Lucifer's malice or lust wavering he'd suddenly declared that he was growing tired of it again. So now he and Sam lay in their bunk together, the Cage dark save for the flashes of lightning around the void they were suspended in.

Surprisingly, Lucifer wasn't even touching him at the moment. He rested with his hands behind his back, looking up at the tightly woven metal of their prison.

Usually Sam liked to be as far away from Lucifer as possible, but he didn't have the strength to do that today, so he put up with their shared space.

For a while the only sounds were the occasional crashes of thunder, and the soft, steady breaths of the archangel and the hunter. In that time, Sam's mind was blank. There was so much he'd gone through, and at the moment, it was impossible to process, so he didn't process it. He didn't think. He was just existing.

Lucifer broke the silence between the two of them when he asked, "Do you ever miss Ruby?"

Sam's mind started up again, thoughts flowing through his head, and without any hesitation, he answered, "I hardly ever think of her anymore. She's just a distant memory."

Sam tilted his head to face Lucifer, lightning flashed, and he was met with the dark angel's calm, thoughtful expression looking back at him.

"But you loved her."

"I think so." Sam looked away again. "Most times I thought I did. She was beautiful, smart, and-"

Lucifer interrupted, "She let you have her blood."

Sam swallowed roughly. "Yeah."

"Do you ever think all of it was just an addiction?"

Lucifer brought up an interesting point. In truth, it'd been ages since he'd thought of her. He wasn't bothered that Lucifer was asking about her. Frankly, he was too drained to care that he was talking about his personal life with the Devil. Besides, Lucifer tended to get angry when he didn't comply with these discussions, and that was the last thing Sam needed.

"Sometimes," Sam answered truthfully. "You know, there were days where I was an absolute mess without her. I needed her. And I didn't crave her presence. I craved _her_. Her blood. There were times where I wanted to drink her dry."

"But you didn't."

Sam shook his head. "Sometimes the only thing stopping me from doing that was knowing I wouldn't be able to get any more after that, but other times…" He trailed off, not sure how to explain.

He looked to Lucifer in mild surprise when he put it into words for him. "It was because you cared about her. The thought of losing her frightened you. It stopped you from taking her life."

Sam's cheeks reddened slightly, embarrassed that the Devil was talking to him about love. He lowered his eyes, unable to meet his blue ones.

"Yeah, I guess so. But, what would you even know about it?"

"I can feel love."

Sam rolled his eyes and turned his back to him. "Sure you can," he muttered sarcastically.

"I was cast out because of my love," Lucifer explained. "Look, I know I'm not the good guy, Sam, but I'm still an archangel. We're not incapable of feeling emotion."

"Oh yeah, you feel emotion alright. Being on the receiving end of it really sucks."

He closed his eyes tightly, forcing himself to take deep breaths when he suddenly felt Lucifer's hand making its way through his hair, his touch gentle. Sam would actually prefer it if he hurt him. Knowing that the Devil could do more than just bring pain was confusing.

Tears stung at the corners of his eyes and he gritted his teeth when Lucifer murmured, "I'm sorry about that, Sammy. I am, but you know me. I get bored. What else am I gonna do for fun?" Sam didn't respond and Lucifer continued, "Besides, there are just some days where I absolutely _hate_ you."

Sam gave a harsh laugh. "That's the difference between us. I hate you 24/7."

He felt the muscles in the hand running through his hair tense, but after a few incredibly long seconds, Lucifer just continued caressing him. A shiver ran through Sam from his cold touch, and a tear fell.

"I understand," Lucifer eventually said. "I'd hate me too if I was in your position."

"Then why do you do it?" Sam asked.

"I just explai-"

Sam felt weird having this conversation with his back towards him, so he rolled over and faced him.

"Yeah, I get that you're pissed at me a lot of the time, but that's a pathetic excuse for hurting me."

A cold smile settled upon Lucifer's features, and Sam started having difficulty breathing. Sometimes he got away with speaking out like that during a "lazy day", but he wasn't sure he would this time. Lucifer leaned towards him, and Sam tilted his head away.

Another chill ran through him when Lucifer admitted, his voice low and breathy, "I hurt you because I enjoy it." Sam tensed when Lucifer's hand crept over his waist and then went lower, reaching up under his shirt. The cold touch bit his skin, making him wince. "It's as pleasurable as taking you."

Maybe a minute passed with Lucifer close to him, his hand on his abdomen, and his breath wafting over his ear. And then he withdrew; Sam was able to breathe again.

"Not that you'd understand," he said, his tone ironically conversational. "It's not in your nature. Sure, there's darkness in you, but compared to me?" Lucifer snickered. "It's almost nonexistent."

It took a couple minutes for Sam to come to terms with the fact that the frightening moment had passed, and when his fear withdrew again, he wiped the tears from his face and opened his eyes.

Now, he was curious.

"What made you like that?" he asked.

To his surprise it was now Lucifer's turn to look away, his jaw clenched, and he balled his hands into fists.

His voice had a dangerous edge to it when he told him, "Sam Winchester, that is one place you _really_ don't want to go."

Sam's eyebrows furrowed as he thought. What could get Lucifer so worked up all of a sudden? Anger radiated from him, but there was something else, another emotion that Sam couldn't pinpoint. It was foreign coming from Lucifer.

Unable to help himself he asked, "Why not?"

Lucifer turned his entire body away from him, his muscles tensing even more. He nearly even curled up into a ball.

"Sam, I'm warning you, _drop it_."

And that was when he recognized what other emotion Lucifer was feeling. Him not wanting to talk about it reminded him entirely too much of Dean. A pang of longing for his brother went through him. He hadn't thought about Dean in a long time, and the memory of him had snuck up on him. He missed his brother. And now, with Lucifer trying to hide what he was feeling, Sam couldn't help but think of him.

Lucifer was hurting. Somewhere in him was a deep well of sadness. And somehow, after all that vile being had done to him, Sam felt sympathy for him.

He kept his tone harsh, not wanting his torturer to know how he truly felt in that moment, as he said, "Fine. I won't bring it up again."

After seconds of tense silence, Lucifer spoke two words Sam couldn't believe he'd actually heard, two words he never thought the Devil was capable of stringing together, "Thank you."

And like the other moment that had passed earlier, this one did too. They continued talking, and it had a strengthening quality to it. Today, Sam didn't have it in him to fight, but tomorrow, and as many days as he had to, he'd resist, he wouldn't break. He refused to break. This was just one lazy day amidst a blur of torture and degradation, and yes, it left Sam feeling ashamed and confused, but the break from pain was welcome. There was plenty more agony for Lucifer to dole out, and Sam sometimes nearly caved and shattered when he thought of that, but he'd get through it. He had to.


End file.
